These guys are patriots! Through their actions, not only have they increased the demand on jet fuel further ensuring the jobs of American jet fuel workers, but they freed up three seats for regular folks on the airlines.
Fresh off yesterday's controversial posting, Dogs & Jeans offers, as a Public Service, this listing of other ways the auto executives will be cutting back while still stimulating the American economy:
- Replacing china and cutlery after every meal will reduce water consumption from dishwashers.
- 2011 cars to be powered by the globe's most renewable resource: pigeon eggs.
- Winter mansions to be relocated closer to summer mansions to reduce vacation commutes. Spring and fall mansions to be moved to Europe where everything is in litres. That has to be less right?
- To save on heating fuels, home furnaces to be retrofitted to burn fur coats.
- The same technology that keeps Dick Cheney's heart beating will be used to increase car engine efficiency by 200%.
- Federal regulations will require everyone to wear wool caps at all times so we can keep the thermostats lower.
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13 comments:
Lol, seriously. These people complain they have no money, but then do all these ridiculously outrageous things. It's a good thing you're here to call them on it Trooper.
*Spring and fall mansions to be moved to Europe where everything is in litres. That has to be less right?*
Really funny, also keeping Dick Cheney's heart beating. Excellent. I wonder if he gets unplugged on Jan. 20?
Maybe if their cars didn't cost more in repairs than the original purchase price, they wouldn't be in such a mess. Just saying.
(former owner of the world's biggest lemon - a Ford Tempo)
I knew you'd find a way to make this funny
-but as a cardiac nurse- Dick Cheney's heart is beating on it's own and the technology gives it an electric impulse to speed it up if it gets to slow, slows it when needed and shocks if it goes into a lethal rythym. But maybe that technology could lend itself to preventing the repairs that are more costly than the car's worth. My GMC Jimmy with extremely minimal miles on it began falling apart 2 days after the warranty expired. My bruiser 76 year old mother managed to break things off effortlessly. How about the racket that ONLY GMC mechanics can get console warning lights to turn off for three times the price a mechanic you trust can.
Trooper - I'll take a healthy commission for the Butter Me Up Scotty... seriously.
So when we bail out every industry in the country - the only thing left will be beverage alcohol...
we'll make a mint!
What if we don't want Dick Cheney's heart to keep beating? That was a joke Secret Service.
I'm down with the wool hats idea. No more worries about the hair!
Love your thinking!!! Really like the burning the fur coats!! Who needs 'em anyway?
HAPPY THURSDAY!!
- Jennifer
LOL...Oh my, love the fur coat burning furnace!
Congrats on hitting 5000!
I heard those CEO execs all flew in their personal private jets to the meeting...each one in his own jet. That's economical, right?!
Hilarious! Congrats on the 5000 mark! I hope to get there someday too!
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